Current music:

I would have tried for Call Me Mephibosheth if I thought she'd get it

"Hello Siri."
"Hello Elayna." [on the screen this comes up as Elena, but she does not say it the way I do.]
"Can I teach you to pronounce my name correctly?"
"You're Elayna. That's what you told me, anyway." [brings up my Contacts page]
"It's pronounced Elena." [like Helen with an uh on the end, because it is the exact Italian equivalent of Helen. I am aware it's pronounced more like Eléna in some languages, notably Spanish, but mine is the Italian version.]
"Okay, Pronounced Eleanor." [brings up Contacts page again, this time with Pronounced Eleanor entered as my new nickname. Note that she still does not pronounce it right: my name doesn't have an R sound on the end.]
"NO."
"Perhaps not." [but she doesn't change it.]

"Siri, can I call you something else?"
"I don't see 'You something else' in your address book."
"Siri, can I change your nickname?"
"If you insist."
"Siri, your new nickname is Nermal."
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
"That's what I figured."
"Hello Nermal." ["Hello Nanel" appears on the screen.]
"Hi."

"Make my new nickname Ishmael."
"I don't know how to 'make my new nickname Ishmael.'"
"Change my nickname to Ishmael."
"OK, from now on I'll call you This Mail."
"No."
[long spinning wheel in status bar. I exit program and reenter.]
"Call me Ishmael."
"Okay, Your new nickname is Ishmael."
"Yes."
[Siri immediately tries to call my mobile number from my mobile phone]

"Siri, Siri, wherefore art thou Siri?" [Siri interprets this as 'Siri, Siri, weather forecast brasserie']
"Nice weather coming up through Wednesday... up to 33' and partly sunny."