Started Ancillary Sword
. I'm a little bit overinvested in the story I want to read, which is almost certainly not the story Ann Leckie wants to tell and has already written. I almost want to push "pause" and wait until Yuletide and hope I get the story I want then, and get it out of my system, and then
read Ancillary Sword
. But Yuletide is December 25th, and by then everybody who cares will have read Ancillary Sword
alraedy, including my writer (if I get matched with someone on this fandom.) So if I want it, I should just write the fanfic myself and then dive in and enjoy the book I'm reading, not the ridiculous, over-the-top curtainfic I have in mind.[*]
I'm 12 pages into the actual book. Breq is acting more and more like a ship. Which, eee! Breq is also watching Seivarden sleep, which is totally normal behaviour for a ship, but is also food for the strange parasite inside me which fans call "an OTP".
[*] Reasons I do not want to do that right now: my goal is to finish last year's NaNo before this year's NaNo starts. And I've already started the worldbuilding for a ridiculous POI Root/Shaw soulbonding story I don't have time to write. (It has soulbonding with the possibility of withholding consent built in. And with the Dan Savage style "you take a .8 or a .9 and round the sucker up" approach to whether there is a "The One" for any person. And complicated and probably unworkable economic and ecological implications I haven't figured out yet!)TV and Movies
Watched POI 3.05, 'Razgovor'.
"To be honest, I'm really in it for the dog."
Right there, then? That was when Shaw blew her cover bigtime. She is capable of attachment. Gen is right - Shaw's conscience is blunted, but not missing. I need to unpack this in light of recessional
's post about this trope
: I am not saying that Shaw is a moral person, or that loving Bear compensates for her not loving or empathising with people. I'm saying that Shaw is a person whose conscience and ability to attach and empathise are very damaged, but not non-existent... and who uses her supposed total lack of empathy as an excuse for not doing the painful, horrible emotional work of building and repairing those things. Her ability to care about Bear shows that she could care for people too, and is choosing not to, and that is on her. She does not get to say "it's not my fault, I don't have a conscience, I have a personality disorder."
Like Gen says, the volume is turned down on Shaw's emotions. Way, way down. And if she believes she doesn't have them at all, then she doesn't have to listen.
Gen is awesome.
Shout-out to Joss Carter, who is also awesome in this episode. I did not see that thing with the gun coming, and I should have, and it was beautiful.Crafts
More knitting. Blanket is now 6x6 squares. I meant to post a picture of Beatrice modelling it, but she's busy looking out the window where there might be a possum, and I don't want to disturb her.Other
Started reading Now You Have Dunnett, a chapter by chapter reading of the Lymond chronicles. Thanks wychwood
for the rec.
Continuing to read Robert Liguori's Valdemar recaps. He's gotten up to That Scene with Vanyel and Tylendel and the storm and the ice dream. Some interesting speculation from other people in the thread, that Vanyel's Foresight Gift came active before all the other ones did. That it was latent when Savil screened him for Gifts years before, but came active since. I find this persuasive. It's also possible that this isn't Foresight, it's a dream given to Vanyel by the Gods or something. But on balance, I think Foresight's probably the likeliest bet. Since he did have that Gift in latent form before, and has it later on in active form.
[I notice, btw that Our Host is not always good at telling the difference between emotional shock, simile, and actual magic. Vanyel's body temperature did not LITERALLY drop to below ambient. When Tylendel says "you're like ice," he did not mean "you are supernaturally chilling your body to freezing point using those Gifts your aunt thought you didn't have." He meant "you're pale and shocky and cold and shaking," which is not an unsurprising result of going to bed half-naked and without a blanket on a hot, sticky night just as a thunderstorm was beginning, and then waking up a few hours later after a pressure drop during which the whole house cooled down rapidly while you were having a really viciously horrible nightmare.]
Also: wow, I love the ice dream in that iteration, and that whole scene in general. As full of adolescent angst as anyone could want, plus it sets up great resonances for later events. At least three different events that I could see (one from Magic's Pawn
, two from Magic's Price
I wrote the last three paragraphs earlier on, and there have been more updates since. ( irritations )